One of the great things about having an old soul for a Mama is her fabulous taste in music. Thankfully I inherited most of her old soul-ness in that respect, including her love for the wonderfulness that is Fleetwood Mac:
Stevie Nicks, man. She's just awesome.
Landslide has been stuck in my head the past 24 hours, with good reason. The lyrics seem to echo the same sentiments I've been thinking about over the past few days:
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Life has been chaotic this first week. Between family stuff (a 4 day vet stay for my dog left me a little rattled, thankfully he's home now), a new and slightly sudden (not really) change in my major (from History to English education), balancing Campus ministry (which is awesome), 18 hours, education class stuff (I get to write and teach lesson plans this semester... to actual teenagers!), and PKS stuff... I'm pretty much scheduling time to breathe during the day. It's a lot of take in.
Well, I've been afraid of changin',
cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
children get older, and I'm getting older too
I'm normally not good with change, but it's a work in progress for sure.
It's not been easy. Has it been worth it? Absolutely. As the line says, time makes you bolder- I'm finally starting to lean on that whole boldness thing. It's made a huge difference already, letting myself make some changes and take some chances. The fruit of that is already beginning to bloom.
I'm already seeing God at work in my life through Campus Ministry- one week in and it's already a huge blessing!
I haven't even started my new classes yet for English but I'm already so thrilled. The history classes I'd been in just were making me feel miserable. I was more drained than I should have been when I went to them. I've never been like that before with history, but something the past year just hasn't clicked. Over the summer my thoughts about switching became clearer... until I finally just took the bold move and changed it. Now I still love history, but English I know I will love to teach. I'm a bookworm almost to a fault (haha like that's a bad thing at all!;) and I obviously love to write. It finally clicked that this was what was supposed to be. I had to let go of my inhibitions of change and just do it. After changing that today and getting my schedule all settled, I've just felt so relaxed and happy. I'm looking forward to getting into a new groove with it all next week.
Between that and starting my observation/teacher mentorship next week (my group's teacher is our education professor's husband... oh the pressure!;), and officially kicking off PKS for the year, this season of life is already chaos. It's a beautiful chaos, though, because it's chaos that is actually molding me and making me new already. It's not my usual crisis chaos that sends me into a worry wart tailspin (at least not yet!), but a chaos I'm letting myself get into. I'm feeling very much into Isaiah 6:8 right now with my life: “Here am I. Send me!” Funny how when you ask for something like that, God delivers tenfold. :)
I'm excited for the changes in this season and for sailing through the tides God sends my way... He's already sent me quite a bit and I haven't drowned yet!
I'm excited for what's to come, even if it's more chaos... because I know God's already there, so it's gonna be great and beautiful and all those good things.
And I promise, I won't let the landslide bring me down. :)